Welcome to the shitshow

12/12/12

Hello, I'd like to have a word with you about a problem that many people, like yourself, are probably unaware of. I'm talking, of course, about hamsters. Hamsters, as everyone knows, are cute, cuddly, furry little creatures that make ideal pets for children. They take up very little space and are very quiet. Make that fairly quiet. Oh, screw the quiet part. What a delight they are to watch as they scamper round in their little wire wheels excercising their little muscles... Building them into massive sprung-steel pile drivers that will one day be wielded against their hapless owners who have lavished them with munchy bits of nice green lettuce. And oh, so crunchy chunks of garden fresh carrots. You don't think for a moment, do you, that these BASTARDS are going to give all tat kindness a second's thought when their time comes! Oh, no! Down will come that, cute little facade and we'll finally see the VICIOUS BEASTS. They REALLY are! As they TERROIZE entire neighborhoods with thier ATOMIC BOMBS and HYPODERMIC NEEDLES! That's right! I'm talking about DOPE! The stuff that's sapped the STRENGTH of many a VAST EMPIRE! That's forced once proud nations to their knees! NO SIR! YOU DON'T STOP THAT SORT OF TERROR WITH A MUNCHY BIT OF LETTUCE!

Hello, I'd like to have a word with you about a problem that many people, like yourself, are probably unaware of. I'm talking, of course, about hamsters. Hamsters, as everyone knows, are cute, cuddly, furry little creatures that make ideal pets for children. They take up very little space and are very quiet. Make that fairly quiet. Oh, screw the quiet part. What a delight they are to watch as they scamper round in their little wire wheels excercising their little muscles... Building them into massive sprung-steel pile drivers that will one day be wielded against their hapless owners who have lavished them with munchy bits of nice green lettuce. And oh, so crunchy chunks of garden fresh carrots. You don't think for a moment, do you, that these BASTARDS are going to give all tat kindness a second's thought when their time comes! Oh, no! Down will come that, cute little facade and we'll finally see the VICIOUS BEASTS. They REALLY are! As they TERROIZE entire neighborhoods with thier ATOMIC BOMBS and HYPODERMIC NEEDLES! That's right! I'm talking about DOPE! The stuff that's sapped the STRENGTH of many a VAST EMPIRE! That's forced once proud nations to their knees! NO SIR! YOU DON'T STOP THAT SORT OF TERROR WITH A MUNCHY BIT OF LETTUCE!