Funky Zach's Schlock Haus

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For regular readers of my bullshit, this may be kinda boring, but if you're a geek like me who's into oldschool toys and collecting things, stick around, maybe you'll like it. If not, go look at some other website. These photos are my own unless otherwise credited. I don't know jack about cars. People go to car shows and then tell me all about engine specs and... I don't even know enough about cars to know what people who do know about cars talk about. HOWEVER, I am crazy about toy cars! I always have been. My first word was... oh wait, it was "ball." But my second word was "spin," which I would say when I spun the wheels on toy cars. Let's take a look at some of my favorite toy cars from my childhood as well as my adulthood! Dixie Challenger I talked about this Hot Wheels car on my Instagram and my Tumblr , but this was always one of my favorite cars growing up. I'm not really sure why. It was released in 1981, but the one I got probabl...

 I heard the stupidest commercial on the radio just now:

Today I was flipping the channels looking for that soap opera full of busty women on Univision, when I came across this show, Teletubbies on PBS. Man, that show will make you bash in your own skull. It started out with this pinwheel spinning around and this sun with a baby’s face in it. Then there was this farting sound and this thing that looked like a periscope popped out of the ground. A British woman said, “Time for Teletubbies” about eight times, and then these multi colored monkeys with sex toys on their heads lined up and announced their gibberish names. After that, they all started fucking each other. Well, it may have been a group hug, I wasn’t sure, I shut my eyes. Then that farting periscope popped out again and the British woman said, “Up and down. Up and down. Up and down. Up and down. Up and down. Up and down.” The monkeys started giggling and screamed, “Again!” and the British woman said it another five thousand times or so.  “Going up…” said the British lady. The gr...

Once I sent in a script to The X-Files. They sent back a rejection letter and they appear to have spit into the envelope. I'm not sure why, the script was better than half of the episodes they air!